Magic Monday: Bullying, Grudges, and the Myth of Being Targeted in Commander

Commander is a Magic format built on politics, memory, and social nuance. It’s what makes it so compelling, and sometimes, so contentious. One of the most common complaints at the table is:

“Why are you all targeting me?”

But here’s the thing: there’s a difference between being bullied, or being punished for a past game, and simply being recognised as a threat based on your deck or your current board state. Let’s unpack the difference and why it matters.

Being targeted isn’t always personal. Remember that Commander is a multiplayer format. That means threat assessment is part of the game. If your deck is known to combo off on turn five, or you’ve just played a Rhystic Study and a Smothering Tithe, it’s not bullying when the table turns on you; it’s table awareness. As the person who is often playing those cards in our pod, I speak from experience. That said, we’re in a hobby where not everyone necessarily excels in self-awareness.

Likewise, if you’re playing a commander like Tergrid, God of Fright, Urza, Lord High Artificer, or Najeela, the Blade-Blossom, people may act preemptively. That’s not a grudge; it’s informed caution.

This. Is. Fair. These are all perfectly acceptable statements:

• “They’re playing a known combo deck, we need to keep them in check.”
• “They’ve drawn 10 cards in the last two turns. They’re ahead.”
• “They have a win on board if we don’t act.”

There are also social consequences to consider. I recently put a player out of a four-player game very early using a Bojuka Bog, an Inverter of Truth, and The Beamtown Bullies. The move was quick, aggressive, and crushing. I did not have much of a board state, so once my commander was removed, I was definitely no longer the threat. But it was too late. I’d shown that my deck could pull off that sort of maneuvre and, in that game, I’d performed a bit of a dick move. It’s not a nice deck. We’ve spoken about this before. It was a social consequence of my actions in that game that I became the target for the rest of the game. That’s not bullying, either; Commander is a social game.

Now, that said, don’t think that I’m saying the bullying cannot take place. Bullying in Commander isn’t about being attacked; it’s about being singled out unfairly, often without strategic justification. We’re talking here about things like repeatedly targeting one player regardless of board state. You could see someone holding a grudge from a previous game and using it to justify poor threat assessment. It could involve blatant ganging up on a player because of personal dislike or out-of-game dynamics.

This is not fair. It doesn’t make for a good game. These are not statements we want to hear:

• “You won the last game, so we’re all going after you this time.”
• “I don’t like your deck, so I’m going to blow up your lands every game.”
• “You always win, so I’m going to counter everything you play.”

These behaviors erode trust at the table and can make the format feel hostile or joyless. Don’t make it joyless. We like joy. Magic is, after all, all about the Gathering!

But how do we tell the difference between bullying and legitimate targeting? This is where many gamers fall down, because it requires self-awareness. Harness all of your powers of reflection and ask yourself the following questions:

• Is the table responding to what I’m doing now, or what I did before?
• Are they reacting to my board state, or just my reputation?
• Am I playing a commander or cards that significantly alter the game state or could be seen as oppressive?
• Is there a strategic reason for their actions, or is it emotional?

If you’re unsure, talk it out. Commander is a social game; communication is part of the experience. I know, right? Conversation? Reasonable Discourse? How do we keep it all healthy? I’ve got a few suggestions:

• Reset Between Games: Each game is a fresh start. Don’t carry grudges.
• Clarify Intentions: “I’m not targeting you; I just can’t let that Doubling Season stick.”
• Be Honest About Power Levels: If your deck is tuned, let people know. If it’s casual, say so. Flag some cards in the deck that you know will annoy people.
• Don’t Take It Personally: Sometimes you’re the threat. That’s a compliment to your deckbuilding.

Commander is at its best when players are engaged, aware, and fair. Being targeted because you’re ahead or your deck is dangerous isn’t bullying; it’s good gameplay. But when personal grudges or out-of-game dynamics start dictating decisions, the spirit of the format suffers.

So the next time the table turns on you, ask:

“Is this about the game, or something else?”

Honestly, it’s usually the former, and if it is the latter, it might be time for a conversation; not a counterspell. As always, be the change you want to see!

Oh, and remember that some people are really bad at threat assessment…

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