You said it was “for utility.” You said it was “just in case.” But we both know the truth: your inventory is a curated museum of unresolved trauma, control issues, and narrative hoarding. Let’s unpack the backpack. EMOTIONALLY!
The 47 Rations You’ll Never Use
You’re not preparing for survival. You’re preparing for abandonment. This is a common trauma response. You stockpile food like the party might leave you in the woods. You haven’t eaten a ration in 12 sessions, but you keep counting them. Just in case.
Emotional baggage: Fear of being forgotten. Also, trust issues with the DM. He’s not your real dad!
The Rope You Bring to Every Dungeon
You don’t know what it’s for. You just know you need it. Rope is your emotional support item. Rope is the “I’m useful” token you cling to when your subclass doesn’t shine. You’ll use Rope once, dramatically, and never let go. You love Rope. Does Rope love you back?
Emotional baggage: You crave relevance. And knots.
The Potion You Refuse to Use
You’ve had that healing potion since level 2. You won’t drink it. You won’t sell it. You just stare at it like it’s a metaphor. You’re saving it “for when it matters,” which is code for “I don’t know how to let go.”
Emotional baggage: You hoard safety and fear regret.
The Scroll You Can’t Read
You picked it up in a dungeon. It’s in a language you don’t understand. You won’t give it to the wizard. You won’t throw it away. It’s your mystery trauma; unread, unresolved, and deeply personal.
Emotional baggage: You romanticise the unknown because your reality has always been disappointing.
The Trinket from Your Backstory
It’s a locket. Or a feather. Or a broken toy. It has no mechanical value, but you mention it every session. Every. Single. Session. You’re not roleplaying at this point. No, pal, you’re clinging. That trinket is your emotional anchor, and you will absolutely monologue about it during a boss fight.
Emotional baggage: You’re still waiting for closure. And hugs, one assumes.
The 12 Torches You Keep “Just in Case”
You have darkvision. The entire party has darkvision. The dungeon has magical lighting. But you keep those torches. Why? Because you don’t trust the world to make sense. There’s preparation, but then there’s paranoia.
Emotional baggage: You fear being left in the dark. Literally and metaphorically.
The Tools You Don’t Know How to Use
Thieves’ tools. Herbalism kits. Tinker’s gear. You don’t have proficiency. You don’t have a plan. You just want options. You’re not even a crafter, are you? Nah, you’re a control freak with a loot addiction.
Emotional baggage: You think versatility will make people love you.
The Bag of Holding You Treat Like a Black Hole
You throw everything in there. Weapons. Books. Bones. Feelings. You don’t organise. You don’t track. You just accumulate. Your Bag of Holding is your emotional junk drawer, and it’s one failed Arcana check away from a breakdown.
Emotional baggage: You think if you carry enough, you’ll be prepared for anything. You won’t. That’s not how life works, fam.
No Rerolls 